Living in the New
by angelstryst
Summary: A what if that takes place during S2. What happens if Max and Logan have that second chance. That's all I can say for now!
1. Strange Beginnings

_Okay so I had this strange idea of what if... I promise there will be an explaination in the next chapter. _

_I wasn't going to post this until I had a few chapters under my belt, but I want to know if anyone will have any interest in it. So please R&R to let me know if it's worth my time to continue._

_Thanks so much to Insane Troll Logic. She is invaluable!_

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_**Chapter 1: Strange Beginnings**_

_He felt like he was wandering through a haze. He couldn't remember much and what he did remember didn't seem to have any order or method to it. He just knew that he had to wake up. There was some imperative that he was supposed to have… something was missing._

Logan shot up on the bed gasping. His thoughts were still a blur.

"Holy shit!" a female's voice cried. "Calm down, Boo, I'll go grab the doc!" She ran out of the room before Logan was able to truly register her presence.

Logan felt like he had been hit with a truck. He tried repeatedly to focus and clear his head, but the slowness which things were happening were making him even more tense. From his right there was a man's voice speaking to him. He couldn't make out the features without his glasses, just the long brown hair and stature that would make Logan standing seem short.

"Logan, gonna be ok now. Joshua helped to fix him." the towering figure said, slowly approaching the bed from the shadows had ensconced him.

"Where are my glasses?" Logan asked. His throat felt raw and gravelly. For the life of him he couldn't place the owner of the voice.

"Here, Logan." the man extended his hand, almost tentatively, offering the glasses to their owner. Logan slowly reclined against the pillows trying to ease the pain in his throbbing head and make sense of everything that had happened. There was something missing. He didn't feel any pain below his waist and couldn't figure out what was wrong.

Logan extended his hand to retrieve his glasses and placed them on the bridge of his nose, taking a second to allow his sight to re-adjust and moved his focus to the man standing at his bedside… and almost fell out the other side.

At least he would have, if his legs were working.

"Logan, it's okay." the behemoth said, and began to shift nervously. "It's me, Joshua! You know… big fella!" Joshua stated emphatically tapping on his chest.

Logan opened his mouth to talk again but couldn't find any words. The smartass remark of _You sure are_ died before it could hit his lips. The man in front of him was a hallucination brought on by the drugs. It had to be, there was no other explanation for the nearly seven foot K-9/man that was speaking to him. He stared in shock for a moment taking in the features of a dog's nose, hands that resembled paws, and the off color complexion.

Just then the door flew open and a young black woman was leading Beverly Shankar into the room. The young woman looked familiar, but he was unable to think of where he knew her from. His attention was briefly drawn back to the man… dog… whatever, as he moved toward the young black woman. However when she began to talk, her street slang slapped him out of his fascination and question of who this half-man, half-dog was.

"Logan, you must have more lives then Max, because damn boy, you are the luckiest SOB Original Cindy has ever seen!" the young woman said smiling.

Max… the name drifted through his mind accompanied by a memory of the dark-haired beauty crashing through his window. What would she have to do with any of this? She told him that he was bent and to leave her alone.

"Logan how are you feeling?" Beverly said, getting through to his bedside after shooing the others back.

He felt a slight twinge of relief at seeing one familiar face. He was having trouble figuring out why Beverly was in a hospital though. She was still working in the morgue. She had only mentioned a few weeks ago about her desire to work on the living again and he hadn't realized that she had already put in her paperwork into the hospital.

"Bev, what's going on? Where am I?" Logan attempted to rein in his confusion and panic.

"Logan, your at Metro-Medical. Original Cindy, Joshua and myself have been waiting for you to wake up for almost seven hours now. You gave us quite a scare." Beverly said as she checked his pulse and blood-pressure. She grabbed a penlight out of her pocket and checked his pupils then popped a thermometer into his mouth as he opened it to answer.

Once the thermometer was out of his mouth he asked the only question properly formulated in his mind. "What happened?" He took a few deep breaths trying to connect the missing dots with no luck. He had a vague recollection of the woman from a bar where he had met Max, but was clueless as to why she would be here. He had no idea why the other…man… would be here either, and knew for a fact that he would have never forgotten that face.

"The virus caused you to run a dangerously high fever and you took quite a hit to the head when you fell." Beverly interrupted his thoughts, "Your lucky Joshua was able to transfuse you when he did." Beverly was obviously satisfied with her assessment as she stood back and continued the conversation, albeit with a quizzical look on her face.

Logan felt his confusion take hold with a firm grip and the panic that he had been trying desperately to rein in started to take hold. "Virus? When was I sick? Why can't I move my legs? Hell, why can't I feel my legs? Who are these people?" Logan said wanting answers. He had no idea why these strangers were at his bedside. What did they know about him? Was this a trick of Sonrisa's? Had Eyes Only finally been exposed? He felt like he was the lead in the school play, thrown on stage with no idea of what the play was called or what his lines were.

Beverly looked perplexed for a moment before answering him. She seemed to come to a conclusion and asked, "Logan what's the last thing you remember?"

_He remembered gun shots, a painful ripping an burning in his back and side, Sophie screaming for her mother and then ripped from his arms, Peter lying on the ground with blood coursing down his face… Oh My God!_

"I remember gunshots. We were in the middle of the intersection. I think we were ambushed. There was a car that crashed into us. Oh God, Is Pete okay? Where's Sophie and Lauren? We have to make sure they are safe…" Logan said rapid-fire.

Beverly interrupted him, "Logan, relax for a minute."

"How can I? Sonrisa is going to kill them!" Logan almost yelled, but kept just enough restraint to not let his voice completely succumb to his fears.

"Logan, that happened almost two years ago." Beverly's voice resounded in the now quiet room.

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_Short beginning, but I hope it's enough to catch your interest. Now that you've read that I can tell you that this story takes place during Hello Goodbye while Logan is in the hospital. I'm guessing you figured that out already though. I'd love to know what you think, good, bad, pretty please with promises of something you like on top!_


	2. Who and What

_Thank you all for the fantastic reviews! I was so thrilled that I had that much interest. I just hope that I don't let you down as I continue this story. Please let me know what you think and if it's worth reading._

_Thanks to Insane Troll Logic for all of her help with this. She has helped me keep this from being too confusing._

_Thanks also to Star's 24 for the inspiration. (If anyone talks to her, please beg her to put her site back up!) She is the one who got me thinking that there are a bunch of stories where Max loses her memory, but almost none where Logan does. She had written the only piece that I have yet to encounter, and it was fantastic. ITL continued the trend with her awsome memory loss story too. What can I say, I jumped the band wagon!_

_Brief Note - I hope this answers any questions. I tried to encompass as much of the backstory as possible to keep it from being confusing. Let me know if you're lost and I'll see what I can do to correct it._

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**2 Who and What 2**

Original Cindy was pissed. The past eight hours had passed slowly, and seemed to be only the beginning of an even more tumultuous time. Her best boo had taken off about five hours ago and left her to look after her man and Joshua. To top it off, now that Original Cindy had information for her girl she wasn't returning any of her pages causing Original Cindy to become more irate.

Max said she couldn't stay, couldn't make it any harder on Logan then it already was. In short, Original Cindy thought, she chickened out. Before Max took off, she made Original Cindy promise to tell Logan she was glad he was alright. She hadn't waited around long enough to find out that he wasn't.

Joshua had sat in the room with Logan for long hours trying desperately to wake him. He tried intently to stir the other man to consciousness with his deep calming voice. Original Cindy alternated sitting with Joshua, holding his hand and trying to figure out why the hell Logan was taking so long to wake up. Doctor Shankar had informed them that in addition to the dangerously high, virus-induced fever, Logan had sustained a head injury when he fell at Crash. She said there was little to do but wait, see and hope that Logan didn't slip into a coma.

Original Cindy thought that everything had gone fine until Max had her snit with Alec. Max briefly told Original Cindy that he was acting pissy that Max was spending all of her time concerned about an Ordinary, and that they weren't made for relationships with them. Cindy silently cursed the two, Max for leaving her to deal with Logan and Alec for acting like a spoiled two year old. Now what the hell was she supposed to do? It seemed that Logan had no memories of the past two years.

She watched Logan's expression as Beverly explained the situation with his spine and legs. There was a moment where Original Cindy thought he might scream but gradually his face went blank as he seemed to bury the emotion deep inside. She thought for a moment about being told she would never walk again. The thought alone was enough to make her want to hurl.

"Logan do you remember Original Cindy or Joshua?" Beverly asked pulling Original Cindy out of her musings.

Cindy looked over at Logan and searched for any sign of recognition. When they locked eyes for a moment he finally spoke. "You were at Crash a few days ago when I went looking for Max." His tone was even. She noted how his eyes softened when he said Max's name.

"Doc, what the hell is going on with this boy?" Original Cindy finally asked Beverly Shankar.

"Logan seems to have developed a case of amnesia." Beverly said turning to Original Cindy.

"Why are you here?" Logan said looking at Original Cindy. She could read the obvious confusion on his face for a bare movement before he carefully concealed it. Original Cindy almost snorted out loud as she noticed how similar the shift was to that of her best boo.

"Logan, I know you haven't forgotten Original Cindy!" she said, trying to sound light and easy.

"I saw you a few days ago at Crash, other then that I don't remember you. Why should I know you? Why are you here?" Logan answered his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Original Cindy turned toward Beverly. "Now I know Original Cindy leaves an impression, but doc, this is some whack shit here if all he remembers is the Original Cindy from two years ago!"

"Logan remembers Max though?" Joshua finally voiced. Original Cindy had almost forgot he was there.

Logan's gaze shifted to him, still unable to address the larger man without an aura of disbelief. "Yes, I've met Max." Logan's answers became evasive.

Beverly grabbed a penlight to examine Logan's pupils again. "Logan, we're going to do a CAT scan on you to see if there is anything seriously wrong. I think I know why your not remembering, but I want to run a few tests to confirm it."

Original Cindy looked around and noticed Logan staring at Joshua, he was trying to hide it but failing miserably. "Doggy-dog is a transgenic," Original Cindy explained, "Like Max. Oh shit did you know that? What do you know about my girl?"

When Logan's eyes connected with Original Cindy's, she could see the denial and questions lurking inside. He finally seemed to settle on an answer. "I know some stuff."

Original Cindy's eyes rolled back. "Okay, Logan, here's the dealio. Original Cindy's gonna help your sorry ass as much as she can, but you need to cooperate with her! You start pulling that secret Eyes Only shit, and leaving Original Cindy out of your pitiful ass loop and I will drop kick your pathetic butt."

Logan's eyes shot wide open at the mention of Eyes Only and looked trapped. If his legs had been working there was no doubt that he would have been out of the room and down the hall. A glance toward Beverly showed a look of confusion cross her face and Original Cindy wondered just how dense people were about Clark Kent and Superman. Beverly had known Logan how long and still hadn't figured it out?

His voice was even when he finally responded. "I guess I need to know what you know." he shot a quick look to Beverly and Joshua. "In private please."

"In case you haven't noticed, doggie dog can't just go marching out into the hallways. We have to find someplace better to do this." Original Cindy turned to Beverly. "When can he be released?"

"Like I said earlier, I would like to run some tests and make sure there isn't any permanent damage, but other then that he should be able to leave tomorrow." Beverly answered as she walked to the door. "Logan, I'll go set up those tests. The sooner the better, right?"

The three watched her exit and Original Cindy looked back toward Logan. She took a deep breath paused and then took another. She had to figure out how to help Logan remember. Too bad the only person that knew the whole story was currently MIA. She needed Max's help. Fear of killing the guy was no excuse for leaving him like this. If Logan was ever going to get better, Max was going to have to help. She reached over and grabbed the hospital phone punching in Max's pager number again then adding the hospital number followed by 9-1-1 to see if her boo would get the message to call.

"Logan, gonna be alright now," Joshua said, breaking the silence. "Original Cindy is on the job!" he snickered slightly at the euphemism from an old TV show that Alec had made him watch.

Logan glanced up at the large man and smiled slightly. "Who were you calling?" he asked Original Cindy.

"I'm trying to get a hold of Max. I figure that she'd be able to answer more of your questions then the rest of us combined. Girl's practically lived at your place for the past two years."

Logan's face clouded in confusion once again. "Us?"

"Honey, you have a choice to make right now." Original Cindy said as the thought hit her. She hadn't even had time to process it before it was out of her mouth. "Do you even want to know about the past two years? Cause it's not all pretty," _especially recently _Original Cindy avoided saying, "But I'll catch you up the best that I can." she took a deep breath before sinking her final blow. "But you'd probably be happier just returning to your penthouse and forgetting this whole mess."

Original Cindy watched Logan process what she just said. She felt bad for being the one to deliver the choice. That was Max's job.

But her boo was too scared to even be here. She was trying so hard to break away from Logan. Original Cindy tried to make it sound better for him not to know, but failed miserably. It looked like Max and Logan's lives were destined to be entwined once again. She would have felt guilty if Max had bothered to call or return her pages.

But she had left everything in Original Cindy's hands. Well fine, Max wanted her to take care of this bitch, she'd take care of it!

Logan barely hesitated before answering her. She could see the determination that crossed his face.

"It was a stupid question, huh?" Original Cindy asked, almost rhetorically.

"I want to know."

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_**Please R&R - I hope it's worth continuing.**_


	3. Reminding Me

_First off, kisses, hugs, and many thanks to all who have taken the time to review. I was nervous about posting this, but you have made me feel better about it. Thank you so much. If you haven't reviewed, pretty please! It really is food for a muses soul, and she's promising some interesting M/L moments in the future!_

_Thanks so much to **Insane Troll Logic** for betaing and pointing out some major faux-pas on my original draft. I hope they are all corrected._

_**Okay Authors Note** - Funny story. Both **ITL** and myself finished our chapters about the same time and swapped. Neither of us had any idea that the other had written a dream sequence. So no this wasn't planned, it just kinda happened. Personally I thought it was kinda wierd but funny. Glad to say that our sequences were not similar, Thank God!_

_**Note #2** - This takes place right after Max rescue's Alec from the jail during H/G. Leaving all of the other stuff in the previous chapters happening about the same time. So you have to take this all from Max's POV. I promise to stop swapping around so much after this chap, I just needed to do some foundation laying, then some decorating, the whole artsy-fartsy thing._

_Oh yeah, I don't own anything! So please don't sue!_

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**Chapter 3 - Reminding Me**

She heard Europe was nice this time of year. Logan had always talked about the food and sights in Italy. Tuscany would be pretty. It probably was a lot prettier and less vile then this third-world-hell-hole where she lived for far too long.

Leaning the motorcycle into a hard turn Max felt Alec shift behind her, bringing her thoughts back to the sad tale unraveling as her life. Alec… She knew he looked like Ben, but never thought of the repercussions. Now she had to help prove his innocence. Max sighed as she approached her apartment, but the wind swallowed the sound.

She questioned herself again as to why she felt this blinding need to save as many Transgenics as possible. _Oh yeah, I let them out, _her mind replied bitterly. Which brought about another question, _wasn't there some sort of statute of limitations on this responsibility thing?_ Without realizing it she had become Logan's field commander in his brigade to save widows, orphans, lost pets and now hopeless Transgenics. That thought just made her frown turn into a scowl.

They pulled up in front of her apartment and Max dismounted her Ninja and began to move-up to the apartment. Alec sighed at her silence and followed.

They stood wordlessly in the elevator until Alec finally broke the un-easy quiet that fell around them. "Thanks again, Max."

She snorted and pushed open the gates as the elevator came to a stop on her floor, leaving him to follow. When she entered the apartment, she parked her bike then headed for her room to change, noting that it was just after 2:00 in the morning.

Alec grabbed her elbow. "Max, what made you come and get me?"

"I knew you were innocent." she stated simply, pulling her arm from Alec's grasp. "I already told you that."

"That's not what I meant." Alec persisted, "You could have left me there and had one less troubled Transgenic to worry about." he cocked an eyebrow.

"You almost sold me out to White once. I figured you were out of get-outta-jail-free cards." she retorted.

She missed the look of recrimination etched in Alec's face as she turned her back on him and headed to her room to change.

"I'm not that person anymore, Max, and I wish you'd realize that." he whispered into the room.

Taking off her jacket, her pager dropped out of the pocket and she remembered that the batteries had died shortly after she left the hospital. She was pretty sure she had some extra in the kitchen. She'd replace them in a little while. For now she wanted the peace and quiet.

She stopped in the bathroom, splashed some cold water on her face, composed herself, then returned to the kitchen feeling slightly better. She grabbed the coffee pot and began to brew the synthetic blend, missing the real stuff she was able to get at Logan's. She decided to avoid Logan, and keep him farther then arms length from now on. It was just too dangerous. If she killed him…

"So how's Logan doing?" Alec asked, his timing seemed perfect as always.

"Let's just avoid that topic right now, okay?" Max said, dodging the question effectively.

"He's okay, right?" Alec said not letting the subject drop as quickly as she wanted.

"Joshua transfused him. Him and Original Cindy are at the hospital. Can we talk about something else now?" Max felt the irritation bleed into her voice. Right now it was just too painful to bring up her issues with Logan.

Without anything else to keep the conversation going, Alec, began to ask about Ben. The guilt poured through her in waves. The feelings she had been repressing for almost a year seemed to overwhelm her. The what-if's had crossed her mind for a long time after the incident.

Surprisingly, she found herself telling Alec things that she hadn't shared with anyone, even Logan. Thinking about that, she wondered why she never told Logan. _Because you didn't want him to see you as any more of a monster then you already felt like_, her mind chimed in once again. When they started to get closer, Ben had never come up. Now that the damn virus kept them apart, she didn't think there was a reason to pour anymore salt and lemon juice on the already throbbing wounds. Logan would hate her enough when this was all over.

With the exception of the brown-out, the night was uneventful. Max and Alec talked for almost three hours, until he started to doze off. She was pretty sure that Alec came to the realization that she saw him like Ben used to be for her, a brother. Most of the shit she put him through was just what Logan had speculated: spats and sibling rivalry. Even though she didn't grow up with Alec, they acted like a brother and sister.

Alec eventually fell asleep on the couch leaving Max to be alone with her thoughts. She wondered when Original Cindy would be home. She was probably still pissed that Max had taken off. _One more person I keep hurting._ Max thought bitterly as she sat on her bed.

The darkness had settled in and the candles flickered softly as the air blew through the poorly insulated windows. Max thought about how things were the first year with Logan. His words after dealing with gossamer crept into her mind. _That year we wasted, dancing around each other, afraid of actually admitting how we felt... If I had that time back, I would do that so differently._

Logan hadn't heard her say that she loved him too. She regretted not stopping him or saying it louder, but she hoped that her silence might make it easier on him. Her mind spiraled back to the last moments in the car. The way he kissed her… The few times they had kissed it had been like a fire running through her. She wanted so much more of him. He was the contradiction of giving and demanding, hard and soft, open and restrained.

She flopped back onto her bed and closed her eyes. Her treacherous mind had kept playing images from the past year and a half. It was like being back at Manticore and forced to watch the training. Only this time she didn't want it to stop. It was all she had left of Logan. She had to give him up, for his own safety. She hated how unfair it was to either of them, that they never even got a chance.

Somewhere in her thoughts she fell asleep and dreamed…

The sun was nearly blinding. Her feet were bare and she was standing on a soft sand. When her eyes adjusted she found herself on a beach with pristine waters and beach for miles. Tropical trees dotted the landscape. Glancing in both directions she found herself alone, but could feel another presence close by. In the sand she found her name written and underneath it was Logan's. Only Logan's name was half-erased by the water, only allowing the tops of the letters spelling his name to be seen clearly.

"Hello?" Max said softly. Wondering if Logan was the presence she felt, she chanced calling his name. "Logan?" her voice gained some strength. "Where am I?"

The silence was resounding. She might have thought she was deaf if it weren't for the sounds of the waves pounding on the shores. Hating the inaction Max spun on heel to her left and began to walk. She walked for what felt like hours, but found herself in the exact same spot that she started.

When Max looked at the names scrawled in the sand she found that both names weren't carved this time, but raised as though impressed from underneath. The bottom half of Logan's was still missing, but it looked as if it was trying to peak through.

A shrill beep startled her out of her ponderings and the world around her spun.

Max woke up in her bed. The power had come back on and the answering machine beeped shrilly to let her know there were messages waiting to be heard.

"MAX!" Alec's voice groaned from the living room. "Would you turn that damn thing off!"

"Coming," she uttered softly, throwing back her covers, the remnants of the dream still flickering at the edges of her mind. When she got to the counter she saw that there were five new messages and hit play.

_Max, it's Sketchy. Listen ol' buddy and pal. I really need your help wi-_

beep

"Not even going there today Sketch." Max said as she hit the erase button. Max grabbed a mug and turned on the heat under the left-over coffee, twirling the mug idly as she listened to the messages.

_Max, it's Cindy. You home, boo? If you're ignoring me, so help your genetically revved ass… Listen, Call me at the hospital._

Beep

_Boo, where the hell are you? It's like one in the morning. You need to call Original Cindy like now._

Beep

_I guess you're still out doing God knows what. You need to call me at the hospital. In case you don't know the number it's 236-555-988-71655._

Beep

_Max. This is the last time I'm trying. It's like two AM, you ain't returned any of Original Cindy's calls or pages. You need to get your ass down here like now. I'm still at the hospital and things are not all good! Get over yourself and get down here! Logan's got some big problems!_

A crash sounded in the kitchen as the mug Max was holding shattered to the floor. Alec heard the last message and looked up from his place on the couch to see the terror etched in Max's face as the ceramic pieces skittered across the floor.

"Oh God!" Max let out as she scrambled to her room to throw on clothes.

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Please R&R - I really hope it was okay! 


	4. Whirlwind Changes

_Apologies that this took so long to get out. I've been having problems uploading all day, and finally found a way around it! So I apologize if I missed any mistakes._

_Thanks to Insane Troll Logic for looking this over, and calling out some of my inconsistancies. This chapter is actually almost a complete re-work of the one I originally wrote. Hence another reason it took me so long._

_I'd like to thank everyone who gave me reviews. Kisses and hugs and all that good stuff. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! You guys have really made me want to get in and finish this story (Which will probably take a while, considering I'm estimating at least 15 chapters.) I will try to update sooner next time. _

_As always reviews are greatly appreciated and I will try to answer any of your questions you have along the way!_

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**_Chapter 4 - Whirlwind Changes_**

**_OOO_**

Max had taken just enough time to find a pair of blue jeans that weren't too dirty and a gray V-necked tee that had seen better days. Her hair was tucked in her baseball cap as she grabbed her driving glasses. She had barely remembered her jacket as she pushed her bike out of the apartment. Alec stood in her doorway and whistled to her holding the jacket in his hand as she moved quickly toward the elevator. As she retrieved it he shot her a knowing smirk, but had the brains to avoid saying anything.

She left Alec at her apartment because the police were still looking for him in connection to the murders, the murders that Ben had committed. He had tried to cajole her into letting him follow along until she said point blank that she was not bailing him out of prison again.

The ride there had been little more then a blur of passing buildings and traffic. Her motorcycle had flown through the traffic like it hadn't existed. She had been able to make it through the only sector checkpoint between her apartment and the hospital without too much of a delay, even though the five minute wait felt more like an hour. Screaming into the hospital parking lot, she barely took the time to make sure the bike was parked and secured.

Max ran full tilt into a security guard as she entered the hospital. She had knocked him headlong into the wall as she ran past. The portly man looked slightly flustered, but a quick glance assured her that he was trying to play it off, and avoid looking embarrassed.

"Where can I find Logan Cale?" she asked running to the registration desk after quickly assessing that the guard would not be an issue.

"I'm sorry. How can I help you?" a softly English accented voice replied.

Max took her in quickly. She had short brown hair and brown eyes, and she looked more bored then actually helpful. Max took a quick breath to avoid screaming. "I asked where I can find Logan Cale. C - A - L - E."

"And you are?" the woman gave a disapproving look at Max's disheveled appearance.

"I'm five seconds away from ripping you across the desk," Max retorted.

"I'll call security and have them escort you out." the woman replied as she picked up the phone.

"Just tell me where I can find my friend! He was brought in here last night." Max said clenching her fists. She glanced behind herself to see the guard look up hesitantly at the conversation from the other end of the lobby. She was pretty sure he was not in the mood to find out how strong she really was.

The mousy haired woman looked up and noticed the guard's hesitancy as well. Her gaze shifted back to Max with an icy glare. "Are you family? If you aren't you have to be on the list to get in. If not you can't visit!"

"Lady, he was fucking unconscious! I doubt his big worry was making up a list of visitors!" Max seethed, she had reached her end with this woman.

"Max!" Original Cindy's voice interrupted the fight about to occur.

Max threw all thoughts of the ignorant woman aside as she spun to see Original Cindy. "OC, what the hell is going on? Is Logan alright? Please tell me he's okay." Max didn't care that her voice had taken on a pleading tone. She needed to know.

"He's awake and breathin, if that's what you're askin. Glad I came down to grab a bite to eat when I did." Original Cindy replied, looking between Max and the receptionist. Her tone sharpened. "If you would have called I would have let you know what is going on with the man!"

"Cindy, what's with the urgent message then?" Max said mirroring her friend's tone.

"Excuse me, is there a problem?" the portly guard seemed to finally work up the courage to approach the two women. He regarded both warily as he approached.

"No!" the duo spat in his direction.

"Ladies, you can't make this kind of noise in the hospital." the guard said trying to stand straighter. "If you want to fight, you need to leave or I'll call the sector police and have you arrested."

Max had enough and she hadn't even gotten through the lobby. "Look mister, my friend was brought in here unconscious and dying. I want to know that he is alright!" She spat the end at the guard and hoped that he was bluffing.

"Ma'am, I'll take into consideration your situation, but you need to stop yelling, understood." the guard looked at her.

Max could see him about to flinch, and almost smiled. Her training slid back into place and told her that she had control over the current situation, but wouldn't if more guards arrived. She decided not to push her luck. She nodded in the guard's direction and he returned to his post.

Max swung her gaze back to her friend and continued with a quieter tone, "So what's with all the phone calls if he's alive and awake?"

"Boo, you were needed here like eight hours ago or maybe you should have stayed instead of running from all your baggage!" Original Cindy said.

"I was doing what I thought was right!" Max said "What was I supposed to do? Kiss him and kill him? That would be some fairy tale ending!" she hissed.

Original Cindy sighed. "And they say lesbo's are big with the drama! Girl you got one up on the whole transgender world sometimes."

Max sighed and slowly resigned herself to the truth of Original Cindy's words. She looked up at her best friend, "Please tell me he's okay."

"That all depends on your definition of okay." Original Cindy said, a frown marring her face. She cut Max off before she could begin another agitated rant. "C'mon, let's go up and you can see for yourself."

Max nodded and began to follow Original Cindy toward the elevator.

"Excuse me!" the receptionist yelled as the two began to walk down the hallway. "You still don't have a Visitor's Pass!"

Original Cindy turned with a death glare toward the annoying woman and looked at Max. "Boo, take mine; I'll handle the Mighty Mouse wannabe! Wait by the elevators, and I'll give you the D/L on what is goin down."

Max felt slightly impatient, but tuned her hearing to Original Cindy's words toward the receptionist and smiled. "Lady, you have no idea who you just pissed off." Max said whistling as she walked toward the elevators.

* * *

Max had been bouncing on the balls of her feet waiting for Original Cindy to walk down the hall. She felt like a child waiting impatiently, but as she stood there a sudden nervousness overtook her. _You shouldn't be here_, an inner voice chided. _He's alive and that's more then he'll be if you touch him_, it continued. She didn't know how to tell him that she couldn't be near him. Hell, she was still trying to figure out what was wrong with Logan and why Original Cindy hadn't just come out and told her initially. 

She didn't know what to say to Logan… the thought bothered her… it was funny because they almost always had something to say to each other. Too much had changed and she was only a danger to him now.

The more she thought about going upstairs, the more she realized that she was doing exactly what she had sworn against doing when she had left here last night. She was about to run out of the hospital by the time Original Cindy had caught up to her, which hadn't been more then a few minutes. Trying for more time, she decided to try and talk Original Cindy into taking the stairs up to the fifth floor.

"No, Max."

"Why not, OC?"

"Because you're only trying to delay the inevitable."

"OC, c'mon, its good exercise."

"There is no way that Original Cindy is walking up five flights of steps so that her boo can delay this any more." Original Cindy gave Max a pointed look.

"Well can you at least tell me what's going on?" Max finally gave in under her friend's tired, but agitated gaze.

"Let Original Cindy give her boo, the long ass night in the Reader's Digest version. She's tired and has been up all freaking night with Logan, who woke up almost seven hours after collapsing at Crash." Original Cindy walked over to the elevator and pushed the up arrow shooting Max a satisfied smirk when the elevator automatically dinged and the doors opened. She stepped inside and patiently waited for Max to follow.

"Aiight, you win." Max's voice drawled as she conceded to the elevator and stepped in. Her gaze turned thoughtful as she reconsidered her friend's words. The sudden urge to leave was quelled as she considered the possibilities of complications for Logan. "Why did it take Logan so long to wake up? I thought the transfusion went well. Will you tell me what's wrong? Who's with him?" she stopped herself before her questions became more rapid fire.

"Boo, Logan took a bad blow to the head when he fell. The doc seems to think he has some sort of amnesia. Original Cindy's been trying to explain the past two years of his life to him with a half-missing book of cliff notes." Original Cindy sighed and leaned into the wall of the elevator, then looked into Max's panicked eyes. "Boo, he doesn't remember anything from after the time he was shot."

Max silently listened to Original Cindy's words as they reverberated in the confining space of the elevator. Thoughts of the Logan from so long ago flashed before her eyes. The first time she visited him after the shooting, their shared smiles and meals, the long nights of sitting together and talking about everything and nothing at all. She remembered her dream from last night and briefly wondered if it had any meaning to what had happened.

The chiming of the elevator as it reached the fifth floor startled Max out of her thoughts.

"C'mon, boo." Original Cindy said tugging on Max's arm.

She must have noticed the dumbfounded look that Max felt because she pulled her to an empty family room at the side of the hall. Max looked at the furniture in the room before her gaze landed on an old vinyl chair in the corner.

"Max, I tried to explain as much as I could, but you gotta tell that boy what happened with his life. He deserves that much."

Max finally broke her gaze at a fascinating split in the vinyl upholstered chair and met Original Cindy's eyes. Her voice sounded almost childish, and for the thousandth time she was thankful to have a best friend like Original Cindy. "I don't know if I can."

Original Cindy looked into her friend's eyes. "The doc wants you to be there for him. He's gonna need someone to help catch him up on the Eye's Only stuff from the past two years." Original Cindy sighed, "The doc will be able to explain everything better then me anyway, c'mon let's go."

Max's hand stopped her. "What aren't you telling me? Is there something else?"

Original Cindy put her hand on Max's and gave it a gentle squeeze, "I'm not sure, boo. Original Cindy was just told to get you here." She seemed to consider something before continuing, her voice softer. "I do know that you could just try and be there for the boy, you know, talk to him. You still love him, boo, I know that much, and maybe there will be a way to work this whole virus thing out."

Max only nodded slightly in response, trying to repress the conflicting feelings attempting to overwhelm her.

"Listen, Logan's in having his test's done now. The doc is by the station down the hall, she told me to have you talk to her first. She wants to see you. She wants to know what you are willing to do."

"It's not like I can move in with him! Hello, remember, I just about killed him less then twelve hours ago!"

"That's why she wants to talk to you, Max. And don't forget who has been here all night trying to deal with this mess! I know your confused and scared, but do not go taking out all of your frustrations and hetro-angst on Original Cindy. If you do, you know I'm gonna put the smack-down on your ass!" Original Cindy said raising her hand with a grin. "Oh and by the way, Doggie-dog's home, in case you were concerned! The doc helped to sneak him out through the basement during shift change."

Max looked into her best friends eyes and gave a half-hearted grin. Max pulled her best friend into a tight hug. "Thanks, OC."

"You know I'll always be here for you, boo." Original Cindy said as she moved away from the embrace, "Now don't go gettin all up on me. There are some fine sisters in this establishment and I don't want them thinking that I've got some messed-up love thing going on!"

Max did smile that time. Taking a deep breath, she proceeded to the nurse's station and saw Beverly standing on the side looking over a chart. As Max approached, Beverly glanced up and gave her a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Max, I'm so glad you're here." The doctor reached out and shook Max's hand.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner, Beverly," Max said sincerely, "Original Cindy filled me in on some of what is happening with Logan. I'm not sure I'll be able to help though." Max was proud that her voice didn't wobble. The conflicting emotions were still at a high tension within her. A new thought was also creeping up though; she might let Logan down, yet again.

"Why don't we go into the office and talk about what is going on first before you start to completely doubt your usefulness." Beverly said walking toward an empty office down the hall way.

Max glanced to see if Original Cindy was following only to find her in an avid conversation with one of the nurses. Max shook her head and hoped that if Original Cindy scored a date, that she would be a little less mad at her. Turning she walked into the office behind Beverly and closed the door.

Instead of sitting behind the desk, Beverly was sitting on a hard looking couch against the wall, and motioning for Max to join her before looking down at some pictures and notes in her hands.

"Okay doc, tell me the bad. Is this really serious or will it pass?" Max said breaking the tentative silence.

Beverly looked up at her from the paperwork with a frown. "These are the test results that I've gotten on Logan so far." She leaned the photo images and x-rays in Max's direction, "See that dark spot there, on the back of his head."

"Yeah," Max said noticing the discoloration. "What's that mean?"

"He has a small intracranial bleed, and probably a concussion when he was brought in here, but we were so focused on the virus that we missed it." Beverly's voice held an air of self-recrimination. "It's my fault. I should have checked right away when they told me that he hit his head, but I was so worried about the virus that it didn't even occur to me until Logan wasn't waking up as quickly as I expected. However, I'm surprised that Joshua's blood didn't fix that problem too. Then again, it could have been much larger originally and the transfusion is healing it. I don't have any before and after pictures to compare it so I can only proceed from here." Beverly finished with a sigh.

"Well, I hate to be like this, but what good am I gonna do?" Max asked, "Bev, you know I can't even touch him."

"I guess Original Cindy told you that Logan only remembers things from two years ago?" Beverly asked and continued at Max's nod. "Logan wants to know about the past two years. What he and Eyes Only have done and what he did with his life." She paused again before looking Max straight in the face. "Max, he's just had to relive the knowledge that he can't walk."

"Oh, no, no… Bev, it almost killed him before!" Max stood up and began to pace the confined room, trying to burn off some of her anguish, only to find it following her. "Besides it's not like I can help him like Bling! I can't even touch him! How am I going to be of any use to him?"

Beverly remained seated while Max paced the room agitatedly. "Max, you're going to need to help him and Eyes Only. I'm going to see about a therapist to aid him. It's a shame that Bling moved to Ohio," Beverly's tone held a wistful note only fueling Max's agitation.

"Bev, he can't have just anyone. He's an important legman for Eyes Only. I mean, not just anyone can be privileged to that information." Max tried to focus on solution for Logan's problem. "I can't just up and quit my job," her thoughts strayed to Joshua, Alec and the other Transgenics, "and I've got a lot of other stuff going on right now."

"Well I don't have a solution for a virus, but I have a good friend in Costa Rica that is a virologist. I've spoken with him recently and brought up the hypothetical situation of your virus," Beverly said her tone lighter. "He said he would love to look at it. He has been working with different virulent strains for years, and I think he might be able to help."

Max could only push the feelings of hope down, she didn't want to give to much merit to the idea. She had seen too many failures already. "I'm not going to get my hopes up. The guy who cooked this up seems to be the only guy to have any clue how to get rid of this bitch."

"Well, it won't hurt to have him look. I'll do everything anonymously and that way there is no way to trace it back to you. And because he isn't in the States he won't have any contact with the CDC, so there won't any problems there."

Max felt her face soften toward the doctor who had done so much for Logan, and was now trying to help them. She pushed thoughts of touching Logan out of her head and looked over at Beverly again. "So what do I do now?" Max said plopping back on the couch next to Beverly.

"For right now, we will let Logan know that he is by no means to touch you. Maybe you can spend some time with him and see if you can jog his memory?" Beverly paused, "When I say that, I mean see if phrases or faces catch his name. You can tell him facts only. The memories can't be distorted by your view… He's going to be confused for a while. In his mind he's just been shot and Sonrisa is still trying to kill him and the informants."

"Oh man," Max sighed. "I guess me keeping my distance from him is going to be tough."

Beverly laughed softly, "Max, I know you can do this." She reached out and held Max's hand for a moment and Max took a small measure of comfort from the gesture. "C'mon, Logan should be back from his testing by now. I need to discharge him soon or he's going to figure a way out of this hospital if he has to wheel the bed by himself." she smiled softly, "We'll go talk to him together and get the ground rules straight in his mind."

With that Beverly stood and Max watched her for a moment before getting up and following the doctor out of the room. Thoughts of what kind of a new beginning this was for them crowded her mind. Again the words she remembered last night haunted her… _That year we wasted, dancing around each other, afraid of actually admitting how we felt... If I had that time back, I would do that so differently._ Now she could only wonder how different it would be.

* * *

_I look forward to knowing if you thought this chapter was a total waste of your time or not. Please R&R!_

_I need to apologize for no M/L in this chapter, but I needed to set it up for a good scene. If you have any questions about the OC speak, let me know and I'll give you an answer!_


	5. Stepping to the Real

_Okay first off I really have to apologize to everyone. I wanted to have this posted over a week ago. I'm so sorry. ITL and I have both been having email issues. Hopefully they are resolved. I promise to get cracking on the next chapter asap. _

_Is anyone else getting ticked at FFN for consistantly changing their parameters and making it harder and harder to upload properly?_

_Second off, I finally got around to some M/L stuff! Yeah!_

_**Dutch, Maria656, lkaplon, Mari83, jennyjen, Moriania, Jeanette**, and of course **Insane Troll Logic** - You guys so rock. I have never written for a fandom that has such great reviewers. I can't say thanks enough, it really helps me plough through the chapters._

_Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed. I can't say how much I appreciate it._

_My many thanks to Insane Troll Logic I'm so glad you helped me fix my chap. I really felt the same way, but was having trouble deciding where to cut! _

_Okay, lastly - Merry Christmas to all who celebrate. I wanted to do a Christmas fic, but my job sucks and hasn't given me enough time to finish it. Maybe I'll get around to finishing it and post it shortly after the holidays. To all who celebrate the other holidays, I wish you a very merry holiday. And Happy New Year to all!_

_I'm done now, you can get to the story..._

* * *

**Chapter Five - Stepping to the Real**

Logan stared blankly at the wall.

He was paralyzed… He would never walk again.

The thought was inescapable. He wanted to howl in fury and pain. He settled for making a fist and punching the blankets. He wanted to bring his hand down hard on his legs, but had changed the course of his arm in mid-flight. He wouldn't feel it anyway.

How had he lived like this for almost two years? It seemed like a bad nightmare, and some part of him was still waiting to wake up. The other part was numb.

Before the tests Beverly had left to make sure his paperwork was in proper order. Original Cindy said she was hungry, but was reluctant to leave him alone. He told her that he needed the time alone and would be fine while she got some food. She had given him a questioning look before accepting his desire for some time alone.

He hadn't had more then a few minutes to himself before the techs came in and took him to the CAT scan and the MRI machines. Being in the machines wasn't comfortable enough for any introspection. This was the first chance he really had to process all of the facts that he had learned.

He was paralyzed… He would never walk again.

The thought repeated itself in his head like a mantra. Out of all the ends possible he had thought up when he began Eyes Only, this wasn't in any of his scenarios. Dead, certainly… Seriously injured, probably… Identity discovered, eventually. Yet he had never imagined his life without the use of any of his limbs.

Shaking the thoughts away, Logan focused on what Original Cindy had been able to tell him about his life. He was surprised that she knew he was Eyes Only. He still couldn't believe that Max was such a part of his life, that even despite this virus, they were still struggling to stay close. Original Cindy did warn him that Max was very nervous to be around him for fear of killing him.

Max… Part of him was thrilled at the idea of seeing her again, but another part was terrified. He didn't know how she had changed or even looked at him. How could she see him as anything more then a charity case - the cripple in his wheelchair?

He let out a sigh. His thoughts had done a complete 360 degree turn and he was back to the same thoughts he was trying to avoid. The clock read 10:00 in the morning. He was past ready to get out of this hospital.

Since avoiding morbid thoughts didn't seem like an option for his mind, he slowly took stock of the changes in his physical appearance. His hair was longer then he remembered and he was surprised to find an increase in muscle definition in his upper body. A sardonic grin came over his face as he realized that the wheelchair would have done that.

He avoided looking at his lower body up until now. He drew a deep breath to prepare himself for the sight of how atrophied and shrunken his legs became… He was shocked to find that there wasn't much change at all.

Original Cindy had told him something about an exo-skeleton that he had been using to walk. Though Beverly had told him that he would need practice and qualified help before using it. He tried to imagine walking without feeling the ground or his legs and the thought seemed less then amiable. The only other option was sitting on his ass for the rest of his life. Compared to that the Exo didn't sound as bad. The only other option was giving up.

His thoughts were interrupted by Beverly knocking at the door and walking in.

* * *

Max followed Beverly down the hall towards Logan's room. A few minutes ago she had resolved to help Logan in any way she could, but with each step closer to the room, her resolve began wane. 

"Beverly, I don't know if I can do this," Max said glad that her voice didn't shake.

Beverly turned and looked at her with kind eyes. "Max, I know this is tough, but Logan's going to need someone to look after him, and before you say it, no I don't think that Alec or any of the others will be fine. He needs someone familiar. Besides you were there before when he was learning the mechanisms of using the wheelchair and walking with the Exo. You'll be more helpful then anyone else."

"It doesn't change the fact that I can't touch him." Max said as the anger slowly boiled inside. She was angry at Beverly for thinking she could do this; angry at the idiot Manticore scientist who concocted the damn virus; and most of all angry at herself for causing the man she loved so much pain.

Beverly's tone didn't change, but her expression hardened slightly against Max's pessimism. "I think I have a temporary solution to the touching issue. It's not ideal, but it's what we've been using to protect against viruses for years. I'd like to explain it more to the both of you." She looked into Max's eyes and Max allowed herself feel a slight glimmer of hope.

"Okay, I don't know if it will be worth anything, but I'm willing to try," Max said and nodded in the direction of Logan's room. "Do you want me to go in with you or wait a few minutes?"

"So long you promise not to run away, I'd like to have you wait. I'll need a few minutes to show Logan the results of his tests and answer some of his questions."

Max nodded in agreement and sat in a chair beside the door. A smile crossed her face as she noticed Beverly's glance backward to ensure Max was still seated. The momentary thought of fleeing did cross her mind, but the guilt of what could happen to Logan kept her firmly planted in the seat.

She was able to overhear most of Beverly's conversation with Logan. Part of her felt like an eavesdropper, but she told herself that she would find out most of what was going on anyway. Max heard Beverly talking to Logan about the damage to his brain and why she believed he had the amnesia. Though Beverly admitted to not being familiar with these circumstances she was fairly confident that his memory would return with time. In the meantime she would consult with a neurologist to see what more could be done.

When Logan asked about his legs, Max almost cried. He had almost lost it when he was shot and told that he would never walk again. Her mind wandered to how he would react this time. Things were different, he was different. Her mind recalled the day she had Vertes file in her hand and saw all of the negative psychiatric diagnoses… The overwhelming feeling of fear that had overtaken her as she saw the gun on Logan's desk… How he pushed her away when she only wanted to hold him.

She sighed as she heard Beverly's footsteps approach the door. This was going to be a lot harder then she thought.

"You can come in now," Beverly called as she opened the door and looked at Max.

Max took a deep breath to steady herself and walked into the open room.

As far as the physical impressions went, Logan looked good. His eyes were bright and his skin had returned from the sickly pale and the blotchy coloring of the virus to his natural tone. She sent out a silent thanks for Joshua's help. She tried to find her voice, but Logan beat her to the punch.

"Apparently you did come back to see me," Logan said with a small smirk. "Well once I actually ate your cooking, I figured it wasn't such a bad deal." Max felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips.

"I told you I wasn't a half-bad cook." He raised his eyebrow in suggestive manner.

She had a feeling that he was trying to see where exactly they stood.

For a moment she was unsure how to answer, but decided to hold the light-heartedness for just a few more moments. "You saw the contents of my cabinets once and asked how I had survived this long."

Beverly quietly cleared her throat. When both heads turned toward her she began to speak. "Logan, I began to tell Max about some of the precautions you will both have to take because of the virus." She paused noticing both faces fall at the reminder of the distance they needed to keep. "I think I have something worked out though. It involved the safety precautions that we use with highly infectious diseases."

Beverly explained all of the procedures including Max having to wear an infectious control gown and mask if she was going to have to come in close contact with Logan, and both using gloves if there was a possibility of limited contact. She was also running some tests to see how long the virus on Max's skin and body fluids lasted outside the body. When she finished both looked at her with some skepticism.

"So how am I going to handle rehab?" Logan asked.

"I'm going to find a trainer to help you for the next few weeks," Beverly answered and then turned to Max. "I'm still going to need someone to stay with him."

Max was hoping that Beverly wasn't suggesting they stay in the same apartment together. She didn't want a repeat of him touching her and winding up in the hospital near death ever again. "Beverly, I'm too much of a risk."

"Yes, but Logan is going to need someone to help out until he is comfortable with his situation again. His body may be adjusted but he's going to need to re-train his mind." Beverly answered.

"Excuse me, but do I have a say in any of this?" Logan said abruptly cutting into the conversation.

Max knew that expression well. It was stubborn mixed with a hint of daring. The way Logan was staring at her, daring her to contradict him and wanting to win the fight, she realized that she would never be able to stay away from him for long. She had forgotten over this past year what he had been able to inspire in her.

"Logan, when you were first let out the last time, you had a wonderful PT who helped you a lot, but I don't have a prayer of finding someone like him again," Beverly explained.

"Bev, why can't we call, Bling?" Max piped up. "He knew Logan and all of the other things. It would be good to have him back."

Beverly frowned. "I called him this morning. He can't, Max. He would love to, but his fiancée is going to have their baby any day now, and he needs to be there to support them."

"Who's Bling?" Logan asked, lines of confusion marring his features.

Max quickly fielded the question, knowing that Beverly was still in the dark about Logan being Eyes Only. "He was your old PT, he knew about all of the things you were working on for Eyes Only and had been able to help you quite a bit."

"How much does everyone know? What did I do, post a bulletin?" Logan seemed to be getting agitated.

"Logan, maybe we better talk about this later." Max said quietly.

He nodded in agreement and turned to look at Beverly, "When can I leave?"

* * *

_I really hope this scene was okay. I tried really hard to figure out the type of tone I needed to take considering the changes that these characters have undergone. If you think they are off please PM me and let me know. It get's tough sometimes and you guys are my best judges._

_Happy Holiday's again to everyone!_


	6. Everything All at Once

_Special thanks and hugs sent to Insane Troll Logic for her fabulous beta skills. She definitely keeps me from overwriting my scenes._

_**Mari83**: Thanks as always, and I know all about the holiday madness. I was sucked in too, I felt bad for not dropping more reviews for others works! I'm still working on the whole amnesia thing and where I'm going with it, so hopefully the ideas I have will work. You know the drill, research and make things sound plausable! Thanks so much for letting me know what I'm doing right!_

_**Lisa**: I'm trying to write faster! It is tough when my job needs me and I'm not allowed to bring my laptop in to write. I'm really trying to hold a first season tone for Logan. I figured he would act very similar. I really don't like a whiny mopey Logan. He's no fun to write!_

_**lkaplon**: Cool, I need to catch up on the episodes and make sure I have everything placed right. Let me know if I mess up!_

_**annie2000**: I've never lost my memories, Thank God, but I'm trying to imagine how he would act and what reactions to use, so I'm really glad it is working okay. Again let me know if you think I'm off._

_**dgurisko2000**: I love writing the different POV, and I figured this story would be fun especially seeing reactions from different characters POV. I'm trying not to get confusing with them, let me know if I do!_

_**jgrisham**: I hope this chapter answers some of your questions, and the others are very good points I will definitely try to work in. I am trying to finagle a way to bring Bling back, but I need a reason for Max to be there too. My idea is if Bling was around, Max really would have taken off because Bling would be able to do just about everything for Logan and answer a lot of the questions so Max wouldn't be stuck in her predicament. You will start to see more and more flashes that are going to create a lot of conflict with Max and Logan. Great review btw, if you have any more questions or problems let me know! PS. I had finished this chap before your review so let me know if it's gotten better :)_

_**Okay Major AN:** This takes place right after the Hello Goodbye episode. Remember Joshua has met Annie and Alec has told him that he has to stay away. I'm trying to run this in a similar time line with the episodes, but I'm making a lot of changes that I think would happen. I'm not going to recap episode pieces. I really don't like reading them because I've already watched the episode. Instead I'm taking my own little tour through the DA verse. I'd love if you stay with me for the ride. I promise to try and make this an enjoyable ride, but I need you guys to tell me what is just plain stupid or redundant. (I'm sorry I'm not a mind reader, so you will have to tell me if I stray a little too much!)_

_I love reviews, and I wish there was a better way of saying thanks, but thank you to all who have taken the time to leave me all of the great and informative comments._

* * *

**_Chapter 6 - Everything All at Once_**

_Thump._

"Shit!"

Max suppressed her groan of frustration and tried to focus on the inane cartoon playing on the television.

Logan had only been home for two days, but was already attempting moves in his wheelchair that had taken him months to perfect before. It seemed that his body retained the memory even if his mind hadn't. However he still had moments of recklessness.

"Are you okay?" Max called from the living room, knowing the noise had been Logan spinning too fast and knocking the wheel into the cabinet, again. She had witnessed the first two hits and was becoming familiar with the noise.

Logan had resolutely refused her offer to move the cabinet, but last night while he was sleeping she had moved some of the items so that they were less likely to fall if he did bump into it again.

"Fine," Logan's terse reply came from his office.

Alec shot her a wry grin but withheld his smart-assed remark when Max glared at him. "You know he'll get through this all right, right?"

He pulled her into a one armed hug and kissed the top of her head. Max took comfort in the embrace for a moment.

Upon returning from the hospital, Max had decided that she and Logan shouldn't be left alone for fear of her accidentally touching him and killing him or Logan hurting himself and her not being able to help effectively. The gloves had helped her relax, but she was still very hesitant to come into close contact with him. There was just too much that could go wrong even if she was just holding his hand.

"Hey Max," Logan said as he rolled into the living room. She immediately shrugged off Alec's hold and sat up straight looking to Logan.

Logan hadn't broached the subject of his relationship with Max, and she wasn't sure what to tell him. She knew once he was able to function better she couldn't keep hanging onto him. Hadn't the past eight months taught her that? How many near death experiences did he have to have before she kept her distance? She still hadn't figured out how to tell him all of these thoughts, but she knew it would come up sooner or later. Knowing Logan it would be sooner.

Logan looked at them strangely for a moment, but quickly hid the expression and plowed on with his initial question. "I needed to ask you some questions about some files I found on my computer." He looked to Alec, "but if this is, uh, a bad time…"

"No, not at all," Max almost jumped to her feet. "I wasn't sure what you wanted me to do, so I figured that I'd wait and see."

"I have a bunch of files on my computer that I know nothing about, and I spent all day yesterday researching what I could… when someone wasn't yelling at me, to take it easy and rest more," Logan quirked an eyebrow in Max's direction. "I was just wondering if you could give me an overview on those files."

Alec stood from the couch, "Well I can see I'm not needed here. I need to get going anyway."

"No, no you don't," Max said trying to keep the panic out of her voice.

"I gotta go check on Joshua, Max. Have you even seen him since Logan here left the hospital?"

Max felt like she was drowning. She didn't want to be left here alone with Logan. She had made sure they were chaperoned the entire time they had been in the apartment. She wasn't sure if she was ready for the questions Logan might ask if they were left alone. "I saw Joshua yesterday. He said he was fine, but seemed a little upset and said he wanted to be alone."

The truth was that Joshua seemed a lot upset and was working on a third painting of a young woman. He had only told Max that he hated being a freak and wanted to be left alone.

"You can go if you want, Alec," Logan interrupted. "I promise not to touch her." His voice held a bitter edge.

Alec looked at Max slightly chagrined, "I'll have to explain the story when we have more time, but for now I'm gonna go bring him food and make sure he is all right." Alec said. He nodded in Logan's direction and gave Max a soft tap on the arm as he collected his jacket and walked to the door.

Max watched the door swing shut. She turned her face to Logan. "So wanna go take a look at these files?"

Logan stared at her for a moment, she felt like was trying to see right through her. "Yeah, sure," He spun and began to wheel toward the office and Max followed. "I'm beginning to regret that habit of deleting old case files."

Max took a seat in the chair on the opposite side of the office. "I always wondered what happened with that stuff."

"It's safer. All of the needed material gets sent to the proper parties. All of my documents, with the exception of some notes about the outcomes I leave encrypted on my hard drive get shredded and deleted. I don't want to take any chances compromising the safety of my contacts or informants." He grinned, "It keeps me the man of mystery."

Max smiled back, she missed the ease in which they used to communicate. Things between them had been getting so tense lately… It was tough when they both knew what they could have had. It was a battle of wills on both ends. This Logan didn't remember what they had shared and how close they had come to being everything to each other. Now Max just had to repress the memories and pain within herself.

"Did I ever say thank you for saving Sophie and Lauren?" Logan asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah," Max said distantly as she scratched her arm and froze. She had nearly forgotten about the mark on her arm from White's cult ritual. She inwardly groaned. Logan was supposed to be looking into it. Now she had to figure out how to catch Logan up on White and the cult, not to mention the entire transgenic community running all over the city. It had been hard enough dealing with just the Eyes Only cases. She had left out a lot of the transgenic stuff because she figured that would just add more confusion to this already confusing mess.

"I want to thank you again, being I don't remember thanking you the first time," Logan said. She realized, to her embarrassment, that she had been having an inner debate while Logan had been staring at her.

"Sorry. I was just thinking of the stuff I need to catch you up on. We got most of the cases you've done out of the way at least," Max said as she stood up. "I'm not sure what else you need to know."

"Well I pulled up these files on Transgenics and I have some strange drawing in this file, I've marked - Max," Logan said he turned to the computer and pulled up the files and showing her the picture he had taken of the mark.

"Oh, that," Max said silently cursing herself and trying to figure out how to explain all of this new information. In the end her mouth answered before her brain had received the message. "I got it a few weeks ago when we were rescuing a boy named Ray from his delusional father who is a member of a psychotic cult. I think they're bent on world domination or some kind of Coming."

Logan stared at her for a moment, incredulity covering his face, "I guess that's why I seem to have a bunch of files on Transgenics and on prophecies," Logan said as he regained his composure. "I really did miss a lot these past two years, huh?"

Max hated that she had let Logan find out about all of the happenings this way. She had no idea how to tell him, and now she had inadvertently dumped everything on him at once. "This cult stuff only started about seven months ago, but between you, myself and the other Transgenics we kept coming up with newer and scarier things. I'm still not sure what's really happening or when it's supposed to happen."

Logan sat for a moment fiddling with the rims on his chair. "I guess we need to start at the beginning. Tell me about Ames White."

Max took a deep breath and started from the beginning. She talked about first meeting Ames White when he captured her trying to save the group of young soldiers stuck in a barn and the weird things that Ames had told her about her DNA. She progressed through their different encounters and how they found out about the cult and rescued Ray from the cult run academy.

Logan sat quietly listening to Max's condensed version. At a few points she wondered if he was going to break his silence, but he stopped himself and allowed her to continue. She felt bad, but she omitted a lot of the Eyes Only broadcast's. She wanted Logan safe, and he never would be if he continued to do broadcasts and research on the Transgenics.

When she finished, he seemed to think for a moment before speaking, "So basically we don't have much information on this cult, and Ames White seems to have an all access pass from the government." He paused, "And here, I used to think that corrupt politicians were bad." he shook his head and swung his chair around and smacked his knee into on of the desk legs. "Ouch, damn it!"

It only took Max a moment to remember the results of Logan's last Transgenic transfusion. She opened her mouth to ask if he was alright but the words wouldn't come. It had only been two days. It had taken two transfusions and several weeks before the last one had taken effect. She didn't know what to tell Logan.

He turned his head to look at her, "The neurologist that Bev hooked me up with, the one I used before, Sam, told me to expect phantom sensations, I just never expected them to feel like that." he must have noticed her expression because he asked, "Max is everything alright?"

Here was her second big revelation for the day. She took a deep breath, "Logan, I didn't tell you, and to be honest I really didn't think about it, but last year I transfused you and you were able to have some feeling and function of your legs, but it was only for a few days." She said rapidly hearing the sadness that crept into her voice as softened toward the end.

"Joshua transfused me," Logan said obviously trying to absorb the revelation of whether or not he might have function back in his legs. Even for a brief time.

Max watched transfixed as the emotions cascaded over Logan's face. She didn't know what else to say. Silently she berated herself for giving him false hope. She had just told him that he might walk again but only for a short time. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Logan brought his gaze to meet hers, "I think I remember something." His face was expressionless. "It was just a flash, but I remember Elliot Bay and you next to me."

Max paled slightly at the memory.

She wanted more then anything to tell Logan about that day and how good and bad it was. How they stood with their feet in the freezing water and how he held her so tightly while he looked into her eyes. Then when they had their date, Zac called and everything just went wrong from there. Her hell bent trip to rescue him, when she finally returned and Logan pushed her away because his legs were ceasing to function.

She shook her head to clear the thoughts and avoid the tears that were threatening her eyes. She couldn't make it out to be more then it was, just a memory. She needed to keep herself separate from Logan, and try to avoid the heartache again. "You had just gained your legs back and had to use a cane," she said distantly, "but you told me you felt like anything was possible."

"Max, what were we?" Logan asked his voice low. He seemed like a child asking a question about the unknown for a second.

She knew the question was coming, she'd been expecting it, but she had just hoped that she wouldn't have to answer. She tried to force a smile, "We've always been friends, Logan," she answered almost automatically. "You're probably my best friend. Just don't tell OC okay?"

Logan looked at her for a moment before answering, "I won't." A small seemingly forced smile crossed his face before he continued, "So you and Alec?"

Max mentally cursed and bit into her lip. This was it, the out she had been looking for. The way to make Logan think that they were just friends and nothing more.

"Yeah," she lied softly. She hated the look of sadness that flashed through his green eyes, "Me and Alec."

* * *

_Alright before you say it I was told that I'm an evil, rotten person for ending it this way. But feel free to tell me again! I'm tough I can take it (okay, maybe not that tough, please add something nice after you yell!)_

_I'm sorry in advance. I promise things will get better. _

_I'm sorry to tell everyone, I love Max and Alec as a brother/sister thing. Alec is an awsome character and I love seeing how Max had affected him in the series. He became a much better person, and hell Jensen is hot! I'm just being up front that I probably won't be adding too much in the M/A category, but who knows there might be a little bit down the road depending on where my mind decides to wander! Ultimately I am a M/L shipper though and hopefully this fic will arrive there._


	7. Transitions and Decisions

_Okay, again, mad props to my totally awsome beta - **Insane Troll Logic**. She kicked me in the ass for my original version of this chapter and I made some changes. (That's what took the majority of the time.) We both agree, it still is pretty sucky, but I need to get on with the next few chaps I have planned out, and this is just flat out driving me nuts. So my apologies up front that this chapter isn't as good as I wanted it to be. Please do not hold Insane Troll Logic responsible for the suckiness. She helped me get it this good, and trust me it wasn't anywhere near this good before._

_**jgrisham** - Okay, I need to add some tension to the story. If Max says that there is nothing going on between her and Alec I'm left without Logan's next couple of pieces. It will all play out. Unfortunatly I do need to do a little season 2 recap, but hopefully this is gonna go the direction I want it to after this chapter. Bling is a good character, but due to all of the other problems I'm having getting this story done at this time, he's probably not going to show up. Sorry - I'm having major multiple personality issues, and I'm ready for the psyc ward! I know that you'll have a lot of wants and this chap does suck, so I'm sorry in advance, but like I said, I just needed to get the info out in this chap so I can continue on with the the next few before I throw the story out all together._

_**dutch** - Thank you for the encouragement. I'm working on the cure part as you will see in this chap. It's just going to take a few chaps to get there. I really hope you like Logan's thoughts in this piece._

_**dgurisko2001** - Thank you so much for understanding where I was going with that. I was thinking about using another character, but at this point Max and Alec have such a wonderful developing friendship that it is easy to see the wrong thing. That's what I needed from Logan. Don't worry, Logan's not about to roll over!_

_**Beth** - Thanks for your support. I promise I'm not trying to rehash season 2, I needed tension and some reason for Logan to do a lot of self examination. Besides, who says that the virus will be around forever! I really loved Alec's character and I felt that he and Max were like a few of my friends and myself. It's just a closeness. Tough to describe if you haven't been there. Please don't let this chap scare you away, I promise better soon._

_**Mari83** - You are so sweet. I know I'm mean about the whole M/A thing, but I needed the drama. I sure hope I do this a lot better then Season 2. That's a big goal of mine. The virus is there, but I also needed a hurdle for Logan to jump emotionally. I have to apologize that this isn't the best chapter. I really hope that the next one will make up for that. The flash back of Elliot Bay just seemed so perfect at the time. I needed Logan to remember that emotion, as you will soon see. I totally agree about the Alec being kinda like a S1 Max. I hope I haven't made his character too different though. Let me know!_

_Okay one last note - Like I said earlier, I was having an identity crisis trying to write this chapter. I'm not to keen on bringing Bling back into the picture at this point. My story though, so rules are subject to me breaking them with a 5 pound sledgehammer at any moment. I live outside the box and love putting my toes across any line so who knows who I'll use or why!_

_After about 10 min of research I was finally able to come up with the guy who created the virus's name! Woo Hoo go me!_

* * *

**_Chapter 7 Transitions and Decisions_**

The noise in the bar was irksome to her sensitive hearing, but she adjusted to it. After all, her favorite man wanted to be here tonight, and she was happy to oblige even if would sleep through most of it.

Mia smiled slightly as Dougie snorted and almost woke himself up for a moment. She scanned the patrons and noticed the various array of men and women that seemed to seek this place for the atmosphere. It was bordering on loud and dark, but the bar served some of the best mixed drinks you'd find this side of the border.

As she was perusing the cliental she saw a familiar face a few tables over that caused her to do a double take.

A chill ran down her spine.

He was Manticore.

His name was Engel.

He was a scientist who did a lot of work in the genetics labs. She had met him a few brief times. His being here could not bode well for herself or her fellow transgenics.

She honed her hearing into Engle's conversation. She cast occasional glances at the pair pretending to be appreciating his table mate's, a darker skinned and well toned man's, good looks.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to resist a genetic challenge, even if I only have access to the local college lab." Engel's partner exclaimed.

Engel shot the man a knowing look. "Jon, I've only been out of the business for a few months, besides, you know a challenge like this is too enticing not to check out."

Jon just grinned in return. "My source says she's never seen a virus like this. She's done some undergraduate studies in Microbiology, but this is no where near her league."

"I'll definitely take a look at it for you, but I really do need to lay low." Engel leaned in across the table and dropped his voice, "They aren't the only ones looking for me anymore."

"Engel, my man, what have you gotten yourself into now?" Jon asked and shook his head.

"There are other people looking to utilize my talents. What can I say? I'm in demand." Engel forced a laugh.

"I have the stuff back at the lab. If you want, we can go take a look tonight." Jon said in a soft voice. He glanced side to side and noticed Mia's appreciative gaze. She offered a flirty smile before returning her eyes to her table.

"Sounds good, let's get going." Engle stood up and threw some money down on the table.

"Whatcha looking at Mi?" Dougie's voice broke her trance-like state.

She gave him a quick smile, "Not much. C'mon baby, let's get going. You look exhausted."

* * *

Joshua's door wasn't usually this intimidating. Today, however, Alec felt like he was facing a giant wall of indecision. All he wanted to do was crash on the sofa and watch TV. That would be fine if he lived alone. His apartment was lost, no thanks to his evil twin, Ben. The cops had raided it and destroyed/looted most everything he had. Now he was living with a love sick puppy, literally. 

He knew it was cruel punishment to leave Max alone with Logan. He couldn't help himself. It was payback for telling Joshua that he was going to have a roommate from now on. She just didn't know about Joshua's love interest. She was too wrapped up in her and Logan's saga to notice much else these days.

Lately he felt like he was Max's go to man for everything bad. Max had a problem with Logan; she took it out on him. Max was frustrated; she took it out on him. Hell, he didn't know why he took as much shit from Max as he did, but he couldn't seem to distance himself too much from her. She was like the sun, a very dark sun but a sun none the less; he seemed to be caught in her orbit like everyone else the girl had in her life.

Like he told Logan before, the girl is hot, but he wasn't going to get any from her. So why was he wasting his time? The plain truth was there, he just didn't want to see it. He looked up to her and even though he would never say it, she was one of his guides to becoming a better person.

He had silently berated himself when he found out Logan was really sick and had almost died. He was being impetuous and Original Cindy threatened to kick his ass if he didn't get his head out of it. That was one Ordinary that he believed might be able to. She was right though. He had been mad at Asha and taken out his relationship problems on Max. His problems keeping a relationship were constantly a sore subject. Maybe Max was right, she lit up in happiness or anger every time she talked about Logan, and either emotion was equated with passion.

He made his decision. His attitude was going to change, and he was going to help Max and Logan get their happy ending. White and his cronies be damned.

He shook his head and realized that he was standing in front of the door to the house for several minutes while contemplating his life's course. A smile crossed his face as he realized the odd place to have a revelation, but smiled as he entered the house to greet Joshua.

* * *

"Yeah," Max's eyes looked straight into Logan's, as though daring him to contradict her, "Me and Alec." Logan saw the almost guilty look pass rapidly over her face before it was covered with her stalwart mask once again. 

"I know it's really none of my business," Logan said trying to cover his disappointment at Max's words. "I know we're friends, but I'm sure you don't tell me everything."

"No, Logan. Its fine," Max said quickly. "I'm not trying to hide anything."

"I know Max." Logan's voice held a slightly defeated tone. "Like I said, it's really none of my business."

Max made some excuse to leave the room, but Logan wasn't really listening. He was focused on the almost physical pain he felt at Max's words. He didn't know why. Did he love her? Was there more then what she was telling him?

He could see a guilty look pass through her eyes when he asked about Alec. He didn't know why she would feel guilty if there was nothing to hide or things had been as copasetic as she emphasized over the past few days. He felt like he wasn't getting the whole truth.

His rational mind kicked in quickly and condemned him though. He was wheelchair bound, and bound to be more of a liability to her. He still had a hard time conceiving why a genetically enhanced human would want anything to do with him. Some part of his brain that was still Logan Cale, and not the depreciated man in the wheelchair, kicked in and said he had this niggling feeling that his attraction to her was there for a reason.

The flash had been nothing more then him and Max on the beach. He was looking into her dark eyes. He hadn't been seated in the wheelchair looking up at her gorgeous face. He was standing and felt like he was only seconds away from tasting her lips.

The memory of the feeling he had in his legs only moments ago brought a new thought to his mind. What if he could stand again? What if there was a way for him to look down into her deep brown eyes? She had seemed to look up at him with an unveiled look. She almost always seemed to have a mask in place. He wanted to see that unmasked look again. Was it because he was standing? Would he be able to be more of the man she needed? The feelings for her were so strong, and he wanted to know what they meant. The more his mind thought of it, the more intent the idea became. There were feelings dancing around the edges of his mind, but every time he tried to grasp for them they retreated into the darkness.

Logan tried to clear his head and focused on the things Max had told him about the Familiars. He'd listened as she expanded on a few more details and pointed out some of the files he was storing research in. His mind kept wandering back to the idea of walking, and how he was going to accomplish it.

He regretted not remembering the man named Bling that Max and Beverly seemed quite fond of. Max talked at length yesterday about him. When he asked what happened to him, she said something about Bling meeting a wonderful woman around the same time Logan had gotten the exo. Bling and his now fiancée were expecting a child. She lamented the fact that it wouldn't do any good for Logan to call him until he remembered who Bling was. Logan had simply asked why she didn't call him and got a strange look.

"Logan," Max's voice called from the doorway to the office.

He noticed it had been close to fifteen minutes that he had been thinking and randomly searching through files. "Time to go, huh?" his voice was slightly downtrodden. He felt like a dog being asked to do tricks when he was at therapy. This was a major source of amusement for Max.

"If you're a good boy I'll give you a biscuit." She was definitely milking that joke for all it was worth. "I also want to ask the guy about you getting started with the exo soon, while we're there."

Logan turned and for the first time all day felt a true smile cross his face.

* * *

_Please forgive me for the roughness of the chapter. I promise to try really hard to have the next one make up for it! Please R&R if you have a heart :)_


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